Rabid Sharks
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Prison Blog

In which Possum recounts his experiences as an offender in the system.

Possum Bones is autistic. He has identified as a dirty kid in the past, and he’s attended multiple rainbow gatherings. He has several years left to serve in the Washington Correctional system.

He has been making art since he could sit up. He communicates better in writing than speech. If you are interested in the experience of an autistic person doing prison time, check out his Prison Blog. If you are a fan of comic art, underground/outsider music, Lovecraft, Clarke Ashton Smith, Murakami, Cixui Liu, etc.

Pencils

What I like about pencils is the eraser. Right now I’ve got pencils, and a jail-made “stub”. To smear the graphite. And an eraser. With these tools what I like is you can really fuss over your drawing. You can do stuff, undo it. Do something else, then change your mind and go back to the first thing you undid. Photoshop, the hard way. Ctrl Z, Ctrl Y, for an hour if need be. I’ve got weak “mind images” and bad motor control so I’ve learned to draw guidelines in faint pencil, to get an idea what pose I’m doing. It helps if I can get into a meticulous, obsessive-compulsive state of mind. Tweaking, but not from meth. Naturally or artificially, getting into that tweak state of mind. Not thinking or paying any attention to anything but my pencil and paper. Earplugs in. It’s essentially a kind of meditation. When its done properly, a real trance. Only on this level can my mind, my mind you see, is not how you say, sharp. Not to say I’m stupid, but I have a disorganized, out of tune mind. Cloudy, overcast, gray like my lead. Heavy like lead, too. A freight mind. Heavy, takes time to pick up speed, and no brakes, takes time to slow down.

So that’s how come…a lot of things. I usually draw better at night, because all day I’ve been gaining momentum, so I have the force I need. I can’t just go from zero to 50mph. It’s all in the transitions and wind-ups. This affects everything I do. I can’t make tight curves so I fuck up details in life - tasks, peripheral to the current objective.

So I have to get into that tweaky, rumbly freight train trance, ‘cause with the way I work, that’s usually what it takes to perform closest to my best. Not that the product is more important to the journey. I’m just saying that, a brain like mine, there’s a lot of stuff I can do, or I could be pretty stupid. What makes the difference (if you’re a kid like me, listen up) is piloting this clunky rig right. You have to be the Han Solo to your Milennium Falcon. You gotta pay attention to how you think. When the engine makes sound, you need to listen good so you know what it needs. The brain does try to serve the ego, but if you give it stupid commands, you’re gonna tank. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? I’m done.

Elisa Carlson