In the beginning there was the joke

Xom told the joke and seeing that it was good, Xom guffawed.  But Xom had no audience for his mighty humor.  So Xom said, "There should be a bunch of shit. and in the middle of all that shit, let there be a monkey, trapped on a timy rock with no pants and a predilection towards violence."  But Xom saw that the monkey would need things to kill and be horribly savaged and killed by for his enjoyment. And so Xom created the fish and the birds and all that walks the earth, "and make the monkey smart enough to eventually realize how fucked up this is so he may appreciate the joke."  And so man would eventually become smart enough to cover the funny thing between his legs. But Xom felt his joke lacked sex appeal.  And so Xom created Bitches.  "And once a month, let them get really snooty and bleed from their cooch.  That would be hilarious."  And Xom watched man fall in love, and how pathetic it was, hot it resulted in many a man's untimely death, the first war, and Xom laughed and laughed so hard that he had to take a break.