Rabid Sharks
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Prison Blog

In which Possum recounts his experiences as an offender in the system.

Possum Bones is autistic. He has identified as a dirty kid in the past, and he’s attended multiple rainbow gatherings. He has several years left to serve in the Washington Correctional system.

He has been making art since he could sit up. He communicates better in writing than speech. If you are interested in the experience of an autistic person doing prison time, check out his Prison Blog. If you are a fan of comic art, underground/outsider music, Lovecraft, Clarke Ashton Smith, Murakami, Cixui Liu, etc.

autism and the mob

My manias been acting up nights lately so I'm writing this post. It’s actually so bad right now that I have a headache. It feels like I haven't taken my sodium valproate although I know for a fact that I have. It’s felt like this every night this week. It's a good feeling , tinged by the knowledge that I'm tapping too far into a neurological reserve , and it’s out of my own control. I was watching toonami, and I realized the ending theme , the bike in the video is probably a metaphor for a man who is unknowingly and/or willingly (a paradox I know) being ridden around by a woman .. ? This is why halfway through, the bike breaks and haruko (The older or more prescient woman) abandons it violently . The bike continues to wander around until it dramatically shows off in front of its new prospective rider. A unique view of sexuality is presented in this anime . After toonami I was watching spring breakers because , I'm in prison. I remember seeing the videos of the college kids tearing up the rooms. Keep in mind I'm 29 and autistic and never went to college. So, I was thinking back to my aversion to college kids and there was more to it than being tired of education . The people in those videos are jumping around like monkeys . I know it’s a movie, it’s for effect, but. Still. It’s not too inaccurate - people look like this. And I can't help but think , hm , I am not a monkey. Yes I show all the same compulsive behaviours as a monkey or rat but I lack this mammalian brain capacity for mob mentality. At least I mostly lack it. That kind of behavior is unthinkable to me. It’s neurologically and experientially impossible for me to view myself as part of any group - even my own family whom I have a deep love and respect for. I can’t perform that transformation monkeys do where they form a swarm organism. And that neurological hang up is the source of thoughts like " I am not one of these monkeys " ... Its not at all that I do not have almost all the same neurologic and hormonal trappings as them, but I lack those parts which allow me to enter cohesion with a group of my species. The things this does to my self image and persona, I'll omit commentary upon here , lest I poison myself with my intentions.

Elisa Carlson