Facts

I never was a happy person and I'll never be a happy person and that's just who I am.  It would be that way even if I never went to jail.

In fact, now if they ever let me go at least I'll have accepted my lot in life, and my pain which is something I never was learning to accept before. From now on, my birthday isn't September 13th, it's January 15th, the day my time is counting from.

I understand all I want in life was to be left to my own devices, i.e. playing videogames, doing drugs, and generally being left alone like a hermit.  But I've learned something; I was born with a gift/talent that I wanted nothing to do with.  I learned through meditation what I was supposed to do and ignored it.